Last year I decided to "go natural". This meant that I would stop relaxing my hair and cut it if needed. I decided to do this for several reasons. One is that my hair started falling out. I was told that traumatic experiences can cause that. In 2010 I had a really painful breakup with a man I was in love with. Actually I broke up with him but I felt I had to. He became resentful that I wasn't going through the mortgage crisis and the employment crisis like he was. I got tired of all the bull crap so I ended it. In the wake of all that my hair began to fall out and I became scared to comb it. Many days I wore a hat to work to avoid having to do anything with my hair. The lab results revealed absolutely nothing.
The second reason for going natural was because all of my non-black friends would react favorably when I wore my hair straight but when I let my hair air dry resulting in curls and waves they reacted negatively. To them light skinned women with straight hair were prettier than those of other shades of brown with kinky or curly hair. I also got tired of seeing commercials where dark skinned parents had light skinned long haired little girls that clearly did not look like them. To me the media was and still is making their statement as to who is prettier and why or who is more accepted and why. I want to see dark skinned parents with dark skinned little kids. I wish the media would stop the madness!
I also became exhausted trying to figure out which hair care products were best. My hair product stash had grown to encompass 7 or 8 bottled products. I grew annoyed that I was spending money every three to four months on a relaxer that would only damage my hair in the long run. I started relaxing my hair when I was a teenager and that's when the madness began.
The third reason for deciding not to relax my hair anymore was because I saw how beautiful my grandmother's hair is now in her late seventies. My grandmother is in a nursing home and unable to do much because of her dementia. She only gets it cut to keep it from matting up. No color or dye's.
The final reason I decided to kick relaxers to the curb was because I realized that I couldn't be my authentic self if I was walking around, or should I say sashaying around, with this relaxer pretense. Truth is I wanted to kick the relaxers a long time ago but I was scared. One day I took the plunge. I sat down in my beautician's chair and told her to cut "it". She asked me several times if I was sure and I answered several times that yes I was sure. She cut about six inches. I could still see that there were relaxed ends when I got home. So several weeks later I went back and asked her to finish the job. I figured it would be easier to transition if I cut as much as possible and worked with it from a short natural stage and transitioned to a long natural stage. In the end she cut two more inches off and I was happy.
When all was said and done, it was freeing. No more ponytail holders. No more goop and creams to put in my hair. However I did wonder how I was going to get through the transition over the coming days, weeks and months. It was easier than I thought. If I want to wear it straight I add CHI Silk Serum or Mizani Silkening and Curling Wax coupled with a CHI flat iron and I am good to go.
To this day I still wonder how could I have continued to relax my hair while destroying the beautiful tresses I was born with. I am proud to be black and I am proud that my hair is what it is without chemicals and without feeling like a relaxer fraud. I feel immense pride when I see women who have gone natural and who wear afros and styles that suggest that they are proud of who they are.
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