Black On Black Race Relations

I relate to having a caramel and butterscotch hue.  I relate to having visible freckles on my cheeks and nose but I don’t relate to feeling anything other than how I feel.  I don’t relate to a small percentage of Indian blood running through my veins.  I don’t relate to those that believe because I speak with good English that it is impossible for me to be interested in dating men of color.  I don’t identify with those that believe I must speak broken English to secure my blackness.  I don’t identify with those who believe that education and traveling the world makes me better than they are, it does however make me a better, more well-rounded person.  I don’t identify with those people of other races who feel the need to comment  when meeting me that they in fact have black friends or used to live next to a black person.  I don’t identify with those who believe that a black woman should not wear an afro but instead wear her tresses straight so that she fits into society’s view of looking “polished” in the corporate environment.

I identify with being black in America.  I identify with my strengths and weaknesses and how they have shaped who I am but not the color of my skin.  I didn’t choose my hue but I do choose to address the ignorant comments and questions I have heard or been asked over the years.  Today I choose to tell the select group of black men out there that it’s okay to court, date and marry who you choose.  I speak for those you seek to put down.  We are smart and beautiful and we are not all gold-diggers.  You must know that we as a race of women are just as powerful, just as intelligent, just as equipped at prospering, just as capable of courting, dating and marrying and just as driven to help hold a family life together as any other race of women. We don’t deserve to be compared to women of other races who don’t walk in our shoes.  We too have high FICO scores.  We don’t all desire to lie on our backs and spit out children while waiting for a Sugar-Daddy and collecting food stamps as some of you have so gallantly expressed.  We are mayors, doctors, lawyers, mothers, coaches, CEOs, breast cancer survivors, pioneers, entrepreneurs.  We run HR departments for fortune 500 companies.  We are actresses, mentors, designers, choreographers and chefs. We have and do work in the White House.  We have served as an advisor to the President of the United States.  We have and do serve this great country helping to secure your freedom to speak your ignorance.  See, it is only ignorance when you generalize, categorize and marginalize women of color to prove your point of why women of color don’t hold a candle in your heart to other races of women.


It’s certainly no ones business that you love who you love but it is not okay to group all black women based on your experiences.  By all means love who you love but do not blame all women of color because your alarm didn't sound while you were making poor choices in your relationships.  It was you who chose to get involved with women that didn’t share your same values and beliefs and whom you couldn’t trust.  No one made you sleep with a woman that you didn’t really want to wake up to.  This was all YOU, you and you alone.  Own your own mistakes and stop blaming all women of color because you couldn’t communicate your needs to the one that seemingly turned you against the rest of us women of color.

To all the women of color out there, stop turning your nose up at others who are lighter or darker than you.  Skin color is just that, skin color.  It in no way depicts that a woman lighter or darker than you is any better.  You and your dated beliefs hinder the process of growth and poison the circle of life.  You reject a sense of togetherness and invite hatred within our own race.  Your preconceived notions about ones skin tone ruin any chance of broadening your race perspective.  It seems you have forgotten the trials and tribulations of black on black race relations.   So check yourself the next time you decide it is okay to act like you don’t know any better. 

I love men of color in all their different hues of glory and I don't think that all men act and speak so heinously.  I also believe that all women of color are beautiful whether dark chocolate, mocha or caramel, beautiful is beautiful.  Let no one use the color of your skin to tear you down.